The banging, the clatter, the screaming and yelling. Even when I hid out in the garage the noise seemed to be right next to me. I want my room. I want my bed. I want silence. My heart was pounding, I was out of breathe (even though I wasn’t doing anything strenuous), and I could not stop shaking. It felt like all of the banging and screaming were coming from inside my head. Like people were jumping around in my brain; yanking and pulling my head up, down, left, right. Light headed and a tad bit nauseated, I began to feel numb. Out of fear I began clawing into my own skin to get myself to feel again — to get myself to snap back into reality and out of panic.
It has been about a year since my last bad panic attack and I must say that this one was by far the worst.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to ending it.