You asked if I would have push you away. I said I wouldn’t have. I wanted to tell you that I was hoping, almost praying, that you would have held me, kissed me. But I didn’t. Because I knew deep down that we weren’t meant to be. And I know you knew as well. But this physical pull towards you is killing me inside and I can’t seem to shake it off. Merely grazing your fingers sends electricity through my body and it drives me insane. I need to keep telling myself I don’t feel this way. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. We have moved on and what we had was once so sweet, but now just a bitter memory.
This is wrong this is wrong.
I hope you understand
That when I’m not around
It isn’t because I don’t want to be
But because I have to be.
I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that I am not okay. I’m not fine. I’m nothing. I feel nothing. I’m not entirely sure if I feel bad, but I definitely don’t feel good. I’m lost in this in-between and it’s incredibly frustrating.