Aside

Daydream

I have this aching feeling that I’m no longer here
That this
This is only an illusion
An illusion so explicitly created in order for me to believe that I am more than I am
I feel empty
Like someone has come inside me and yanked out all of my sensory motors
Like someone has taken my ability to feel
I feel no excitement
I feel no fear
I feel like something that just exists
With no purpose
No motive
No nothing
And I can’t help but wonder
Why
Must I continue to dig into my skin
Only to help me realize that I am still here
That I am still living?
Must I continue to evoke pain on myself
To wake myself from this never-ending struggle called life?
It hurts, it hurts.

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There are some nights where I can’t get you out of my mind no matter what I do. It is as if you have seeped into ever crevice of my brain and I am now consumed by you. On nights like these, my heart, mind, body and soul ache for you.