Blurry eyed, I ran
Through the waves of emotions
That you poured into me
There you stayed
With unsaid words flowing
Through the inbetween
Where silence deafens
My mind quivers
Will you love me still?
The voice in my mind telling me no, but my bones telling me yes. A quivering state of being, getting lost in a flood of possibilities that only I see so vividly. When the wind blows, my body follows only to get wrapped around the trees; stopping me from reaching you. Are you still there? Can you see me despite the shadows that surround me? Do you love me still?
Your mind distracted
In silence, in pain, maddened
Here, I see you still
I have this aching feeling that I’m no longer here
This is only an illusion
An illusion so explicitly created in order for me to believe that I am more than I am
I feel empty
Like someone has come inside me and yanked out all of my sensory motors
Like someone has taken my ability to feel
I feel no excitement
I feel no fear
I feel like something that just exists
With no purpose
And I can’t help but wonder
Must I continue to dig into my skin
Only to help me realize that I am still here
That I am still living?
Must I continue to evoke pain on myself
To wake myself from this never-ending struggle called life?
It hurts, it hurts.
My heart aches with every breathe I take.
Three in the morning,
Silence sings its lonely woe
As deep breathes grow
There is both fear and happiness in loving someone so deeply.